I feel like I’m 16 again. All the smells of this house, the location of the lights, the way I have to tilt my head when I come down the stairs. The smell of my host mum’s cooking, the kerosine heater. The dog outside. Random variety TV on. The warmth of the kotatsu. Exhausted sleeping sideways on the floor, half in the kotatsu. Instant coffee with instant milk. The folded origami orange peel containers. The smell of the tatami mats in my room, the flicker of the fluorescent light. The quality of the light. It all brings me be back to a youthful age. I can see myself in here and I am revelling in the youthfulness.
Even the pangs of nicotine addiction that I had at the time makes me want to smoke a cigarette!?
I didn’t realize that it would be quite like this, but I feel that this is the most of a home I have been in since leaving my parents place last March / April. 落ち着きます。すぐに。And I had a really lovely conversation on the phone with my host brother, the same age, who I haven’t seen for 10 years. He sounds well, and grown up.
Iwade is serving up it’s usual randomness. As I got off the train my host dad came and picked me up in his flash new car (A benz!) and said let’s go past the old school. I was pretty ready to get home but he says oh look a concert is on! And why don’t we go watch. So we step into the hall and sit down to a school orchestra club performance for the next 40 minutes. I was grinning at the sheer randomness, but fondly because I was remembering how life was always this random and I used to think it was because I didn’t understand what was going on half the time, but actually it probably was just because it was random. Like this. Nice to see Wakayama still going strong in that respect!
It might have been that I still had only had 3 hours sleep? But it was quite a ‘random rush’.
After that he took me to see my host mum who was taking an ikebana course in a japanese room at a shinto temple located somewhere amongst the rice fields scattered with houses.
It turns out I had been there before and the people that lived there remembered me, and I remembered the room and one of the girl’s faces. It was quite bizarre also they rushed out to take pics, but I took it in my stride because, well, that’s countryside Japan for you!
After that we blissfully went back to my house. Quite surreal to be here, but I feel so much home. It’s lovely.
I still have an aching in my chest though when I think about Rocco and TJ.
I also get a version of jealousy when I think about what they’re up to… but it’s not really because I don’t want them to enjoy their week just that I’m left out of it all.
Can’t believe this flight was really 11 plus hours? Anyway quite nice since now it’s just going to feel like a long day and I can go to bed tonight, although my weekend is thus only one day, and the while of it spent over the north pacific.
A nice flight anyway.
Been loving hearing Japanese all around. On the music station, the movie subtitles. It’s nice to be visiting a country where I really know the language well but it’s not English.
I watched why I love NY. And some other movies… Made me think of TJ and Rocco. I love them.
I’m going with my flow, and my flow is to go to Japan and make it back to Melbourne as planned. These feelings will fade with time, as the excitement of being in Japan for the first time in many years is sure to do, but I certainly won’t ever forget the real connections I made in NY, and Utah.
I love you both.
I’m serious about making myself stronger and a better person, using this energy.
Anyway landing soon. Going to deal with my emotions by blogging.
Sent from my iPod